I fear that nothing I write here will do justice to the validation I felt when I heard these words.
It was one of the best moments of my life. Not because of the particular label necessarily, just the fact that I had finally been given one for the feelings I had been experiencing for so long.
Something was always different.
I was an outsider looking in.
I loved this planet but it wasn’t mine. I was clearly left here by mistake.
I was often misunderstood and sometimes even feared which was quite baffling.
Actually quite a lot was baffling here but it wasn’t because I lacked intelligence.
I have been afraid to share this thing that I learned about myself. I have worried that no one would believe me as I noticed early on that I should probably cover it up because it wasn’t very acceptable and so I did with full force. I was also concerned that such a disclosure would make me look as though I was trying to be special or get attention.
But I don’t want to hide anymore. It is exhausting and in general not fun at all. Besides, by nature I am actually a very honest and open person and it feels good to share even if it is terrifying at times.
I plan to blog a lot more about this topic in the future so if you are interested then please stay tuned.
And in the meantime please know that the thing I desire most in life is actually not so different from everyone else. I just want to be loved and accepted for being exactly who I am.
I love you