Autism Diagnosis at 32

I fear that nothing I write here will do justice to the validation I felt when I heard these words.

It was one of the best moments of my life.  Not because of the particular label necessarily, just the fact that I had finally been given one for the feelings I had been experiencing for so long.

Something was always different. 

I was an outsider looking in. 

I loved this planet but it wasn’t mine.  I was clearly left here by mistake. 

I was often misunderstood and sometimes even feared which was quite baffling.   

Actually quite a lot was baffling here but it wasn’t because I lacked intelligence. 

I have been afraid to share this thing that I learned about myself.  I have worried that no one would believe me as I noticed early on that I should probably cover it up because it wasn’t very acceptable and so I did with full force.  I was also concerned that such a disclosure would make me look as though I was trying to be special or get attention.

But I don’t want to hide anymore.  It is exhausting and in general not fun at all.  Besides, by nature I am actually a very honest and open person and it feels good to share even if it is terrifying at times.

I plan to blog a lot more about this topic in the future so if you are interested then please stay tuned.

And in the meantime please know that the thing I desire most in life is actually not so different from everyone else.  I just want to be loved and accepted for being exactly who I am.

I love you

Tanni

One Comment Add yours

  1. Tesha Young says:

    I appreciate that you shared thsy with us! My son was diagnosed aspergers at 17. He is now 19 and the best son a mom could ever ask for. He works and attends college. He is set up in an affordable trailer to keep costs manafable while attending college. He insisted upon rescuing a cat..he has also rescued anot abandoned dog and brought him to a no kill shelter. .his cat he takes extreme care of. He is actually extremely handsom…I know I have to say that as his mom but it’s true but due to his social uniqueness he has experienced a bit of rejection from girls at one point he did take some pride in his appearance but after a few disappointments he often withdraws into video games and doesn’t seem to take the pride in his appearance a young handsome man shoulf. His a stubborn Aries at that lol…so I choose my battles with him and I’m so proud that I tread lightly. If I had a choice even just between you and I and I could do it all over some how choose another son..I would choose my same exact son exactly how he is he makes me happy and proud. I hope I am the mom he deservers. I also hope and believe that I will always be lead as appropriate how to be the right mom for him.

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